Bye Bye Birthday Blues

This was the first year I didn’t get birthday blues. Of course they tried to creep in, ya know being jobless, being single, knowing the dude I’ve been fucking for the last two years wasn’t going to wish me a Happy Birthday- he ghosted me a month prior- or maybe the fact we’re in the middle of a global pandemic, a racial justice crisis, an economic crisis, and a global climate crisis…I don’t know, something about celebrating my birthday felt frivolous. I’ve been using that word a ton lately. Maybe that’s because everything I do feels that way, perhaps it is. That’s always been my battle, but maybe that’s what keeps me humble. I know it’s really not that serious. Now more than ever I’ve realized how lucky I was/still am to have lived such a “frivolous” life. Maybe that’s why I didn’t let the birthday blues in this year no matter how much I’m grieving my life before March 15th.

And here she is. My 32nd birthday. I had been asked to do the Cyber Clown Girls show earlier in the month, and after a bit of thought, I agreed. Performing in your apartment to a computer screen is hardly fulfilling, but it seemed like a good excuse to get some babes together in the same room and perform in front of a computer screen, together. We found a sponsor. We found a dope space to film our acts in and a dope spot to party in after. It felt like we were producing good shit again, and that felt good.

It turned out better than I could have imagined. It was inspiring. And I could tell it was inspiring to more than just me. That’s the best birthday present I could ask for.

Thank you to Dos Perros Mezcal for sponsoring the night and giving us such a beautiful space to create in; art and great memories. Also for all the mezcal. Seriously, good shit. Thank you to my main babes, Miss Marquez and Isaac Aaron. You two are very special to me and I’m so inspired when I’m around you. To everyone who showed up throughout the weekend, you were there for a reason. I love you!

Bye Bye Birthday Blues! If this year has taught me anything, it’s that there’s no fucking time for birthday blues. When the concierge calls you after housekeeping comes in, and says “Um. it’s 12pm”, you know life’s good.

These polaroids sum up what a fucking great time we had! I’ll never forget the sound of confetti crinkling as we danced our hearts out, the 5-year old little girl ghost who just wanted us to go to bed, and all the time we spent in the bathroom and not in the way y’all are thinking. Thanks Isaac for capturing all our fabulousness! And don’t forget, CAMEL BAK-IT’S GOOD FOR ALL OF US!